Every aspect of one’s life has a distinct effect on his well being. This aspect can possibly be from emotional, environmental, physical, to social aspects of life. Family is connected and a part of each aspect, hence why the family can never be excluded in everyone’s life. Looking more into the influences of the smallest unit of the society, there are many factors that contribute to the impact brought by this agent that seeks for attention. One of these factors that affect an individual’s personality is the way his parents raise him up. Parenting in the early years is an exciting but challenging time, it is never an easy task. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship, it dwells on how a parent or a guardian in some cases brought up a child providing his needs, ensuring safety, disciplining, showing love and affection. Parenting in simple words is guiding and supporting your child into an outstanding life until he is old and capable enough to do it by himself. How is Parenting Usually Occurs Nowadays in Terms of Disciplinary Strategies?
The rapid phase of time is slowly changing the customary and conservative practices of raising a child inside a Filipino family. Base from what the elders often told the youngsters, the way of upbringing they had experienced during their childhood into adulthood life was a thousand times strict compare to what the generation as of today undergo. Looking back to the time of our grandparents, the way their own parents raise them was too old-fashioned and superstitious. According to some old folks their parents usually have set rules that once a single one is broken will immediately result to a punishment for them to learn from and remember. An old lady said that in their household her father used to set a rule that requires
every member of the family particularly the children will have to do their designated chores, and if forgotten or neglected they will receive five to ten times hit on their hands using a very thin stick. Since there is no law against such action back that time, it was a norm to have rules with assigned punishments in a regular Filipino threshold. At the present day, laws against violence are widely implemented rendering people to cause physical pain or assault. From each respondent of the parenting interview conducted, there are still rules being enforced in every household. Only that these rules are what can be called fundamental or basic rules such as asking permission before leaving, attending to their household task (if they have), the usual sleeping and curfew time for the younger children, prioritizing studies all the time, etc.
According to a grandfather whom stands as a guardian to his daughter’s children, these kind of rules have to be enforced to ensure their safety, health, and also as an opportunity to train the younger children on following rules. However, when asked to rate themselves on a scale of one to ten of how strict they are towards their children (ten being very strict), majority of the respondents appear to be lax to their children giving five, six and seven as the highest rate. They claimed that they don’t have to be very strict towards their kids because they already know what the consequences are awaiting for them and simply because adults pose as a good example to them. In relation with the strictness of parents, the rules, and the suitable punishments, parents were asked how they discipline their children once they commit a mistake or break a rule. A working parent and mother of two teenage boys said that if a mistake was committed, she usually ask them to sit, explain what was wrong of their action, lecturing them why is it inappropriate and should be avoided and last, remind them to never do it again. Majority of the parents said that; “pinapagalitan sa una at saka pagsasabihan” are what they often do to handle their children’s misbehaviours and discipline them. While some says that it takes a little threatening of taking away things like cell phone or reducing allowance for them to think twice before repeating the same mistake. Spanking
Some parents claimed that although they strongly disagree of spanking or any other cause of physical pain as a method of discipline, there are times where physical act cannot be avoided because of several reasons. For instance is during times where in the parent worries to much about the safety of his child due to leaving without permission, resulting to releasing anger through spanking. A widow said that; “minsan talaga hindi rin maiiwasan na makasakit ka (e.g. kurot) dahil hindi makontrol ang emosyon mo gaya sa mga panahon na marami kang iniisip o problema tapos nadagdagan pa ng pag-aalala sa anak mo”. Although some physical act cannot be avoided sometimes, parents do not recommend this type of disciplinary method and as much as possible according to them should be avoided because it will only bring trauma, fear, and might drive the child into violence. Child- Rearing Practices for Warmth and Nurturance
All dimensions of maternal and paternal nurturing and involvement were positively related to positive characteristics of peer relationships, self-esteem and life satisfaction (Rohner, Khalique, & Cournoyer, 2005). Through nurturance of parents, children develops a sense of security that enables them to grow up with confidence and which serves as their foundation in life. Refenrences
Pareting. (n.d.) retrieved from http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/10/ The Effects of Parental Nurturance and Involvement on Peer Relationships and Psychosocial Functioning of Young Adults (Maria Reid). Retrieved from http://www.academia.edu/844461/The_Effects_of_Parental_Nurturance_and_Involvement_on_Peer_Relationships_and_Psychosocial_Functioning_of_Young_Adults 10 Most Effective Parenting Practices. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2010/11/22/10-most-effective-parenting-practices/